yesterday i shaved my yard's head.
which is to say, on the advice of some loser i am paying to help me manage my yard, which i secretly believe should be left to manage itself, only i live in suburbia yuckville and so am not allowed to allow it to manage itself, i mowed my yard, prior to any apparent need for mowing.
and now it is bald.
i have observed animals who have been shaved, either by an ignorant or selfish owner seeking to prevent shedding or to cool off an animal whose internal cooling systems don't require shaving or for medically invasive procedures like allergy testing (yeah yeah, i've had my cat tested for allergies--i dare you to say something about it) and these animals always appear to experience some shame from the loss of self that accompanies a shaved head.
i myself have had a shaved head on several occasions in my life and found the loss of self to be quite liberating, not only in the weightlessness of hairlessness but also in the freedom of the heavy gendering of hair.
my yard appears to be embarrassed and not liberated.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
natural Texas grass does not grow taller than city code allows and it attracts butterflies and repels most household pests like roaches. Allowing it to manage itself, as you put it.
i can only deduce from this that the grass that grows in my yard is not natural. thanks for calling my yard out like this. I thought it was embarrassed before . . .
I am glad that I do not have a yard to shave. If I had a yard, I think I would pay someone else to shave it.
I shave my own head, though. I have only one grooming tool for my head-hair: an electric razor. I use it when I get to the point where a comb would have a purpose.
Here is a question for you: how is shaving a yard like shaving a leg?
i can't think of many similarities between shaving a yard and shaving a leg. I hate shaving legs and I actually don't mind shaving yards every once in awhile. I guess if you do a good job on both, they feel and look "cleaner" although I hate giving the clean label to shaved legs because i have long advocated for people to get over body hair. I guess unshaven legs and unshaven yards represent a wild naturalness that most people aren't comfortable with or used to.
I was under the impression that your opinion about shaved legs--specifically your own--had modulated over the years. A journey of coming to peace with your feeling that a shaved leg looks or feels clean? Maybe not. Maybe there and back again?
I have noticed that shaving one's legs does not raise the amount of dust shaving one's yard can.
Maybe it doesn't on your legs, Mary Ann . . .
They don't shave legs, armpits, face, yards, baby having procedures, or anything like that in the Middle East. How do I know? I'll never tell. Al might. Last I heard of him, he was driving away from his divorce smoking MJ. R has our yard mowed, making statements about rednecks etc. I don't give a rats a.., but have to do the Spanish to make sure it is not "shaved," butchered, trees killed, sprinklers destroyed, bushes ignored, auto scratched minimized, gates closed, alley mowed, blowing to a minimum, cost to a reasonable rate, no loans of equip and advances of money. All this I do with a very reasonable and nice approach the first time but if I have to do it again, the message is very clear and never have to do it aqain. When they are mowing and I am there one will walk over and seek approval or advice. Intimidation is very easy, it is my yard, my money Ruths desire and and I want to "smell the roses," not train scalpers. I did see some scalped soldiers in the Persian Gulf War. I didn't know who did it or why, but Al might. He found the slave market and gold market. At one point we discussed diserting the army and making a life in the Middle East.
Lisa, I laughed out loud when I read this post, and am still chuckling! Thanks!
Post a Comment